A New Day

17 Dec 2025 – Meredith Higgsby

I Was Today Years Old When I Discovered Walnuts, and Frankly I’m Not Okay

Listen. I’m a woman in my 30s. I pay taxes. I own throw pillows. I have a favorite spatula. I’ve lived enough life to know that sunscreen is non-negotiable and that anyone who says they “don’t need a cart” at Target is lying to themselves.

And yet — AND YET — somehow, despite all this maturity and alleged wisdom, I spent three entire decades believing I didn’t like walnuts.

Walnuts. The humble, brain-shaped nut. The nut that looks like it could whisper ancient secrets if you held it up to your ear. The nut that apparently has been waiting, patiently, for me to get my life together.

The Origin Story of My Walnut Trauma

I blame childhood. As one does.

Somewhere around age seven, I encountered a cookie -- a perfectly innocent-looking cookie — that contained what I can only describe as a rogue, stale, aggressively crunchy walnut shard. It tasted like disappointment and pencil shavings. My tiny, impressionable brain made a decision right then:

Walnuts = betrayal.

And so I avoided them. For years. Decades. Entire eras of my life passed walnut-free.

I went to college without walnuts. I got my first job without walnuts. I survived my 20s — the decade of chaos, questionable decisions, and learning that hangovers have a 48-hour setting — without walnuts.

I thought I was fine.

Reader, I was not fine.

The Walnut Awakening

Fast forward to last week. I’m at a friend’s house, minding my business, eating what I believed to be a normal salad. You know — greens, vinaigrette, maybe a little goat cheese to remind me I’m fancy.

Then I bite into something.

It’s… buttery. It’s… toasty. It’s… slightly sweet but also rich in a way that makes me question everything I’ve ever known.

I freeze. Fork mid-air. Eyes wide. My friend looks at me like I’ve just seen the face of God in a romaine leaf.

“Are… are there walnuts in this?” I whisper, like I’m asking if the house is haunted.

She nods.

And that’s when my entire life flashes before my eyes — a montage of all the salads, brownies, banana breads, charcuterie boards, and cozy autumnal recipes I’ve missed out on because I was living in walnut darkness.

The Five Stages of Walnut Grief

1. Denial: No. Impossible. Walnuts are gross. This must be something else. A cashew in disguise. A pecan with a wig.

2. Anger: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME WALNUTS COULD TASTE LIKE THIS. WHERE WERE MY PARENTS. WHERE WAS BIG WALNUT.

3. Bargaining: Okay, okay, maybe if I start now I can make up for lost time. I’ll eat walnuts every day. I’ll become a walnut influencer. I’ll start a walnut-based skincare line.

4. Depression: Thirty years. Thirty. Years. Of walnutless existence. I could have been thriving.

5. Acceptance: Fine. I love walnuts. I am a walnut woman now. This is my truth.

My New Walnut Lifestyle

Since my awakening, I’ve gone slightly feral.

I bought a Costco-sized bag of walnuts. I’ve been sprinkling them on everything like some kind of woodland creature who just discovered abundance. Yogurt? Walnuts. Oatmeal? Walnuts. Walking past the pantry? Grab a walnut. Emotional crisis? Probably needs walnuts.

I even Googled “health benefits of walnuts,” and let me tell you, the internet is VERY enthusiastic about them. Omega-3s. Antioxidants. Brain health. I’m convinced if I eat enough of them I’ll unlock telepathy.

In Conclusion: I Am a Changed Woman

If you, like me, have been living a walnut-free life due to childhood trauma, misinformation, or general stubbornness, I urge you — no, I implore you — to give them another chance.

Your taste buds evolve. Your soul evolves. Your nut preferences evolve.

And sometimes, all it takes is one rogue walnut in a salad to make you realize you’ve been missing out on a tiny, crunchy piece of joy.

I’m not saying walnuts will fix your life. But I’m also not not saying that.

Previous Articles:

“Walnuts: The Betrayal Nut I Refuse to Trust”

“Why Walnuts Taste Like Regret and Tree Bark”

“The Case Against Walnuts: A Manifesto No One Asked For”

“Nuts I’ll Eat, Nuts I Won’t: Guess Which Category Walnuts Are In”

“Walnuts Are Just Pecans Having a Bad Day”

“The Walnut Agenda: How This Nut Has Fooled Society”

“My Childhood Trauma, Brought to You by a Single Walnut Chunk”

“If Walnuts Are So Great, Why Do They Taste Like Sadness?”

“A Comprehensive Guide to Avoiding Walnuts at All Costs”

“Walnuts: The Nut That Thinks It’s Better Than Me”

“Top 10 Reasons Walnuts Should Calm Down”

“The Walnut Conspiracy: Big Nut Doesn’t Want You to Know This”

“I Tried a Walnut So You Don’t Have To (You’re Welcome)”

“Walnuts in Brownies? Absolutely Not.”

“The Only Thing Worse Than Mondays Is Walnuts”